[Press Citizen] An Iowa City man is accused of exposing himself in downtown Iowa City and eating a bag of marijuana after he was arrested. Police said two women reported to them that Allen A. Bramwell, 25, exposed himself to them. According to criminal complaints, the first incident occurred at 8:45 a.m. March 23 at the Old Capitol Town Center. The victim reported to police that Bramwell exposed himself, then asked the woman for her name and phone number. Five hours later, another woman reported that Bramwell was grinning at her as he exposed himself when she drove by him as he stood on Court Street near Gilbert Street. Police located Bramwell and the woman positively identified him. Bramwell also had the phone number of the woman he exposed himself to earlier in his phone. Bramwell was placed under arrest for indecent exposure. While seated in the back of the arresting officer’s squad car, Bramwell allegedly attempted to eat the marijuana he had with him. The officer recovered the plastic baggie and flakes of marijuana that were on Bramwell’s shirt, seat and in the baggie. Police said Bramwell admitted to eating the marijuana. Police also said Bramwell had a $1,000 worth of stolen property with him at the time of the arrest. The property was stolen in a burglary that had occurred just hours earlier, the police said. Police said they tried to obtain a search warrant for Bramwell’s residence. However, Bramwell provided officers with an address that did not belong to him. Bramwell’s son provided officers with his correct address, police said. Bramwell faces two counts of indecent exposure, one count of preventing prosecution, one count of possession of marijuana and one count of interference with official acts.
That’s a motherfucking day right there. Strolling around with a sack of weed & some stolen goods while flashing your dong to pick up some digits sounds like the American dream. Thing about this story is, the dude who went to jail isn’t even close to the biggest scumbag in this story. Society’s standards would certainly paint my man Allen as the bad guy. Stealing is bad. Drugs are bad. Cock-slapping random chicks in downtown Iowa City is bad. Still not the worst. How about this slut who saw Allen’s dick and gave him her number, then went crying to the cops about indecent exposure? Bitch, how indecent was it that you gave him your REAL name and number? Was it hard to avoid slipping in your pussy leakage on the way to the precinct? It may not be the most conventional pickup line, but you had options. Fake name, fake number, blow your rape whistle…nope. You wanted it. Don’t act all victimized after you go bragging to your co-workers about this handsome devil with a horse pole & they call you a whore. What’s worse than both a criminal and his pansy-ass, dime-dropping son? A broad who flips the script & makes my man have to scarf all his weed on the way to the clink because of her own cock-craving insecurities. Shame on you, ho. Shame on you.
